Tuesday, August 10, 2010

City Goes Berserk Over Love of Big Turk!


No one could have seen this coming. A fanciful status update proclaiming love of a candy bar. A couple of snide remarks. And then all hell breaks loose. The Turk War has started and it ain't sweet! There's something strange about people's reactions to Big Turks - people either LOVE them or HATE them.

I first realized this a few weeks ago when I innocently (and fatly) updated my status on Facebook to, "would be a lot thinner if Big Turks weren't so delicious." Well! I declare! The comments started pouring* in! And a few of them said I was gross and how could I like those? and Big Turks collect dust on the shelves because I'm the only one who likes them. I was pretty surprised. Big Turks have been around forever, and true, are for a distinguished palette. There ain't no nougat in these buggers. Y'all won't find your measly peanuts in here.

So, my pal Sherri Drewe read this status yesterday (3 weeks late) and became OUTRAGED! How could anyone hate Big Turks??? The sweet fruity gummy. The delicate load of milk chocolate. The bar itself shaped not unlike one hour glass on top of another. The bottom stamped with a criss-cross pattern like no other. How could anyone dislike this?

Sherri started up a Facebook group last night called "Liking Big Turks." Membership soared - as of this writing, a mere 24 hours later, we're up to 11 members. This group did not come without some controversy and hostility, however. Tonight a group called "Hating Big Turks" has also popped up on the popular social network. Membership is currently at three people. (editors note: one person has defied the Turk War by quietly becoming a member in both groups. No word on where his allegiance stands.)

Sherri has mentioned a few times that things have "spiraled out of control." The internet has been ablaze with group comments, hatred, and an unyielding love for the turk. "I'm getting scared. I don't know what the Non-Turks will do," whispers Drewe.

So, Non-Turks ... just continue sitting at home suckin' on your Malted Milk balls and gnawing on your licorice All-Sorts.

There are two types of people in this world - Turks and Non-Turks. Which one are you? Comment below!

(please note: all non-turk comments and insults will be removed immediately by a moderator from the Big Turk
conglomerate
.)


*Fewer than 5 comments total

10 comments:

  1. Correction - we are actually up to 10 members in only a few minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  2. There will only be 9 once Dave is purged from the group. I demand he picks a side!

    ReplyDelete
  3. As long as there breath in these lungs, I will always be loyal and true to the Turk. The jelly goodness and milk chocolate is a combo that can't be beat!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I just read online that people who don't like Big Turks are most likely terrorists. That's scary!

    ReplyDelete
  5. You said "delicate load"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Even the word 'turk' is gross. It rhymes with jerk.

    GO JERK YOUR TURK!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Break me off a piece of that Big Turk Bar!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I have never had a Big Turd in my life.

    ReplyDelete
  9. "Break me off a piece of that Big Turk Bar!"

    hahahahahahaa.

    ReplyDelete
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