Tuesday, March 23, 2010

ASSSKKK KARYN:
Help! I don't have any hobbies!


Dear ASSSKKKK KARYN,


Today a new co-worker asked me what I do in my spare time.... what my HOBBIES are. I
realized in that instant that I don't HAVE any hobbies!! Not one! All I do is nap and watch trashy reality TV shows. So I tried thinking of things I could say - searching my mind for something that could be considered a hobby that wouldn't make me a liar. I came up with nothing. NOTHING. I can't say that watching TV is my only hobby.

What can I say next time someone asks me this question?


Signed,


Horrible Hobbies in Houston (and by Houston, I mean Edmonton)

p.s. I don't want to actually start any real hobbies, don't even suggest it.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear HHiH(abHimE),

I could answer this question a heck of a lot easier f you would just lie. Or, more specifically, let me lie for you.

For some reason the first thing that popped into my head was say your hobby is "horseback riding." After all, it's a respected hobby that would understandably take up a lot of your (pretend) time... so you wouldn't have to come up with any other hobbies. You could just say "Yeah, I ride my sweet steed 'Juicy' around the ranch pretty much every day. I like to pat her strong chestnut haunches and brush her long thick tail into braids" and be done with it. (Not that I've ever thought at length about what I would name a horse or how I would spend my time with a horse. ....)

But noooooo... you won't lie. You're too good for Juicy.


OK, so, since you want to be truthful, I think you should just say you are a real supporter of the arts. TV is an art. And besides, the statement "I am a real supporter of the arts" can be kind of intimidating to most people, so there would be very little chance of a follow up question. Most people (including, hopefully, your music teacher) will simply smile and say "Ahh! Very nice. So am I. So am I."


No one needs to know that you consider Paradise Hotel and Double Shot at Love with the Ikki Twins "art."


- ASSKKKK KARYN


8 comments:

  1. Hey. One of the Ikki twins is in a COMA right now, so I hope you feel real bad.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh, look at this. From PerezHilton.com:

    "What a relief!

    Erica "Rikki" Mongeon was taken out of her medically induced coma, after being in a car accident with her sister Victoria "Vikki" Mongeon who both starred in MTV's A Double Shot of Love."

    Posted March 8. WHAT A RELIEF, Sherri D. WHAT A RELIEF. So I can make fun of the Ikki twins all I want.

    Yesssssssssssss.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Too soon, Karyn. Too soon...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Meh. It was only a medically induced coma. Not a real coma.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think the coma makes this week's ask Karyn more timely. In the news biz they call that a "hook."

    This is some real top drawer work Karyn!

    ReplyDelete
  6. The phones are lighting up!!!! Karyn! You did it! You saved the station!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hey Elliott... I'm glad you liked my "top drawer" work. It means a lot coming from a Newster such as yourself.

    And to "FIRST"- good work!! You did it, buddy!

    ReplyDelete

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