Friday, January 29, 2010

I'd Like to "Shoo" These Away!
(....I'm sorry... I'm really bad at blog titles.)

Tyler came home the other day with a new pair of "shoes." I had just woken up from a nap, and as such was still quite groggy. My eyes barely open, my mind still swimming in dreams, I opened my bedroom door and began walking down the hallway. Just then, he came around the corner and announced his new purchase. Pointing down at his feet, he proclaimed, "Look! I got new shoes!"

My eyes, following his excited gaze, saw these:

My world spun, everything I had known to be true until that moment fell away. My brain rejected what it saw. No, it can't be! These aren't shoes! Noooooooo! Dear god, no.

And I was right. These aren't run-of-the-mill shoes. Oh, no. These are a new (well, new to me) kind of footwear called "Vibram Five Fingers." T
hey are a tight sheath-type material... with 5 toe "pockets" for your dumb toes to go into. The bottom of the "shoe" is hard, so it is meant for outdoor wear. I guess they are extremely comfortable.

The idea behind these things, according to the website is, "The typical human foot...(has) 26 bones, 33 joints, 20 muscles, and hundreds of sensory receptors, tendons and ligaments. Like the rest of the body, to keep our feet healthy, they need to be stimulated and exercised.

That's why we recommend wearing FiveFingers for exercise, play and for fun. Stimulating the muscles in your feet and lower legs will not only make you stronger and healthier, it improves your balance, agility and proprioception."

Yeah. It also improves your chances of being mistaken for a gorilla from the knees down. Am I right??

These ones would look like normal shoes from a 500 meter distance:

I don't know... I just find them so weird... and a bit creepy. And I'm not the type to think feet are gross or to judge about foot wear. Hell, I wear Crocs! And I love them. But these "FiveFingers" are so......... bizarre looking. That said, I can see them being good for wearing to the beach or as water shoes.

I have asked Tyler not to wear these in public. He says he's going to.

God help me.


  1. They are great for spreadin' your toes! :D

  2. hahaha ewww.... your spread toes are soooo sick.


  4. Oh dear god. I hate them... but at the same time I'm jealous.

  5. UMM. Who is Sloths Rule??? I didn't click on the link until just now because I HATE sloths (as you know) and didn't want to see one.

    MAY I JUST SAY that this is the DUMBEST and best video EVER and I was shrieking and LOLing. I want a "Slow Loris" soooooooooooo bad!!!! They are freakin' adorable.

  6. how the heck? what in the? Each toe is free from the other? SO let me get this straight... These are the equivalent of "gloves" in an otherwise "mitten" wearing foot kingdom?

    Are they comfortable Tyler?

  7. Hailey - Tyler says they are sooooo comfortable. He even wears them around the house sometimes!!

  8. "I got jam in my toes. And I'm ready to spread!"


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