Friday, January 29, 2010

I'd Like to "Shoo" These Away!
(....I'm sorry... I'm really bad at blog titles.)

Tyler came home the other day with a new pair of "shoes." I had just woken up from a nap, and as such was still quite groggy. My eyes barely open, my mind still swimming in dreams, I opened my bedroom door and began walking down the hallway. Just then, he came around the corner and announced his new purchase. Pointing down at his feet, he proclaimed, "Look! I got new shoes!"

My eyes, following his excited gaze, saw these:

My world spun, everything I had known to be true until that moment fell away. My brain rejected what it saw. No, it can't be! These aren't shoes! Noooooooo! Dear god, no.

And I was right. These aren't run-of-the-mill shoes. Oh, no. These are a new (well, new to me) kind of footwear called "Vibram Five Fingers." T
hey are a tight sheath-type material... with 5 toe "pockets" for your dumb toes to go into. The bottom of the "shoe" is hard, so it is meant for outdoor wear. I guess they are extremely comfortable.

The idea behind these things, according to the website is, "The typical human foot...(has) 26 bones, 33 joints, 20 muscles, and hundreds of sensory receptors, tendons and ligaments. Like the rest of the body, to keep our feet healthy, they need to be stimulated and exercised.

That's why we recommend wearing FiveFingers for exercise, play and for fun. Stimulating the muscles in your feet and lower legs will not only make you stronger and healthier, it improves your balance, agility and proprioception."

Yeah. It also improves your chances of being mistaken for a gorilla from the knees down. Am I right??

These ones would look like normal shoes from a 500 meter distance:

I don't know... I just find them so weird... and a bit creepy. And I'm not the type to think feet are gross or to judge about foot wear. Hell, I wear Crocs! And I love them. But these "FiveFingers" are so......... bizarre looking. That said, I can see them being good for wearing to the beach or as water shoes.

I have asked Tyler not to wear these in public. He says he's going to.

God help me.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Hey cheesy friends, I'm in a jam!!!! LOL LOL*

Does anyone out there eat cheese and jam sandwiches? It was recently brought to my attention that this is a thing. That people go out of their way to create this - a (usually) grilled cheese sandwich slathered with jam. ewwwwwww. It turns my stomach.

I know people like to eat cheese and fruit from a platter while sipping wine. When such occasions occur, I try to remain calm, slowly take a piece of cheese, chew it, swallow it, drink something to cleanse my pallet and THEN eat a piece of fruit. I don't put these two sundries in my mouth at the same time. But especially on a sandwich... it just seems unappetizing to me. It's the classic "savory doesn't belong with sweet" argument. Am I in the minority again?

I actually had to google image search it to prove to myself it existed and I wasn't just being tricked. The ol' cheese-and-jam trick. And, it's real! Look!

(This last picture isn't of cheese & jam sandwiches but look how CUTE they are!!!!! ... and you know WHY they're so cute? Because their insides are made of meat and nothing else. Please eat their watermelon legs for dessert.)

*Sorry for this title. I only gave it .04 seconds of thought. What else could I have called it, though? ... "Say Cheese and Pass Me a Sandwich"? That was the only other thing I could come up with.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Filler Blog...
it's really not very good.

Well, well, well. Look what the cat dragged in! It's ME!

I know I've been neglecting this blog for a while now... but I have a reason! My life has been too normal lately! Nothing odd, interesting or hilariously traumatic has happened to me in ages. It sucks.

I have been praying for a blog idea to fall into my lap and unfort, it hasn't happened. So, here are a bunch of funny/stupid things I came across on the internet:

I have no idea what "Tee Hee Gees Gees" means, but this picture is pretty good, I guess. (please make sure you read the article.)

I'm a silly pig! ~Mr. Bean Voice

I'm a puppy and I'm smiling - which is pretty funny if you think about it.

I'm riding a bike!!! I probably have dog biscuits in my basket! lol


That's all I've got. Again... really sorry.

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