Tuesday, October 6, 2009

People Rules: What Not To Do

I want to share with you a few People Rules that I think may have been forgotten in recent years. There are things that aren't really acceptable behavior that happen quite often in this world of ours. Far too often.

~ Hugs should last under four seconds, unless there is a special reason for it to last longer (sad recipient, congratulatory hug, just being married.) All other hugs must remain under 4 seconds. And please keep in mind, 4 seconds is the absolute maximum. I know someone who hugs people for 15-20 seconds EVERY TIME. Even for "hello" hugs. Although thankfully this person has never hugged me, it still makes me uncomfortable to be in the same room when said hugging goes down.

~ When you borrow someones chair at work, or ask to sit in their chair for a minute because you have some work to do at their computer, it is NOT OKAY to comment on the warmth of their chair. Inappropriate comments include (but are not limited to):

"Oooohh... hot chair ;) !"

"Wow, this is warm!"

"Mmmm... cozy!"

Essentially, you are talking about something that is related to your co-workers bum... and this is NOT APPROPRIATE!!!! The only exception to this rule is if you are very close friends with your employee and both of you have a good sense of humor and you are JOKING.

~ Hey, all of us sometimes get a "frog in our throat." It's science. But it is NOT ACCEPTABLE to hork up phlegm in the presence of others unless you are extremely close to the person (emotionally) or you absolutely can't help it. Horking up phlegm into a kleenex while at the office is not okay. Hawking your throat stuff up in a restaurant is even worse. Seriously.

~ Don't eat Mcdonalds in a Doctor's waiting room. Whether people love McDonalds or hate McDonalds, no one wants to smell it in close quarters when they're not also eating it. NO ONE. Apologizing while you pull out your grub doesn't make it any better.

KGWN Readers submitted some of the People Rules they think some people need to be reminded of. Here they are:

~ When someone texts incessantly while you're hanging out it's really irritating.

~ How about acknowledging a friendly "good morning" or "hello" instead of being an ignorant bastard (this happens to me at work a lot.) They just keep their jerk faces turned to their computer screen and answer me with stony silence. Dicks.

~ If you don't know how to drive... don't drive.

~ Please don't talk during a movie... do it for yourself. Nobody wants to pay 13 bucks to have a conversation.

~ Even on a crowded bus there are ways to mind others personal space.

~ When someone says thank you, give a warm smile and say you're welcome.


  1. Sweet Moses on the mountain! Them are good rules. Let me break the stony silence by lamenting about too many 18 second hugs.

  2. don't say "hork phlem" :(

  3. Praise you, wise Karyn...I am SO glad you included that "hork phlegm" rule in there (sorry for repeating it Kyley). I have a DISGUSTING co-worker who horks and spits phlegm into his GARBAGE CAN daily!!! This is on top of his constant burping and coughing while he is standing right next to people. I literally hate this man.
    I'm just sorry I didn't read this blog sooner.


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