Wednesday, September 16, 2009

ASSSSSSSSKKKK KARYN!
Drunk & Smoochy



Dear AAAAAAASSSSSSSSSKKKKKKK KARYN,


Last weekend I had a most splendid evening with a very old and very dear friend. We shared a bottle of wine, a decade of memories, and many, many laughs.


All was well until we uncorked bottle number two… then started chugging orange AlizĂ©… then before we knew it, we had hit the town in a crowded club, and were making out to classic Backstreet Boys tunes on the dancefloor


So, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASKKKKK Karyn, my question to you is… Why do tasty drinks often turn into bitter regrets? And what kind of toothpaste should I buy to cleanse my oral palate?


Signed,
Drunk & Smoochy

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Dear Drunk & Smoochy,


Well, one of the most visible ways alcohol affects an individual is the loss of inhibitions observed in those with blood alcohol levels as low as .01%! You see, the prefrontal cortex, located at the anterior end of the frontal lobes, is specifically responsible for normal control of impulses.

........... just kidding.

Actually, I think it's cuz... like... alchy-hol tastes super duper good and makes our brains and hearts feel really free :D :D :D And we drink it and gargle it and laugh and dance.

Out of curiosity, Drunk & Smoochy, can you anonymously tell us... do you not like-like your friend like that? Does she like-like YOU? Is it awkward now? Give us the juice!! Our juice cups are out & ready to be filled with the JUICE! Juice us up, Scotty!

... oh, and sorry for all your troubles.


Love,

ASKKKKSKSKKSKKK KARYN



(Please note: the whole dancing to the Backstreet Boys thing remains a mystery. I have no advice to give about that. Just let the rhythm take you, man. Just let the rhythm take you.)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Cats: They Have Rhythm, Too





I don't know about you, but when I had a cat, there was one question that kept crossing my mind: "I wonder if my cat can dance?" Right? We've all thought it, we've all wondered about it late into the night. "Would he enjoy dancing?" "Am I suppressing his inner rhythm?"


Well, imagine my surprise and delight* when I found this website. They offer "Feline Dance Classes" and tell us, "
Remember, cat dancing is a joyful, beautiful and healthful learning experience you can enjoy with your cat and we wish you and your cat well in your new found purpose together."

I also enjoy THIS gem that explains how one would learn to dance with an animal who usually hates being touched: "As most cats do not take kindly to a sudden change in environment, especially one where other cats may be present along with loud music and dancing, people do not bring their cats to class. Instead they use stuffed (toy) cats. Most dance studios ... require students to buy their own. You can expect to spend about $20 for a reasonable stuffed cat, but $50 will buy a top of the line, life-size bendable model that is perfect for most movements."


I'm actually not even sure what to say about this... perhaps I don't need to say anything. I think the website speaks for itself. But, may I just say in all seriousness, that if I ever tried "dancing" with my cat, she would have killed me. ...Killed me and then done the fox trot right out of the room.



*shock and disgust


Please Note: This blog in no way encourages the stereotype of cat lovers being "crazy." We are simple folk who just enjoy the finer things in life: petting soft fur, opening food cans that smell up a room, and dancing late into the night with a furry friend in our tender arms. Nothing out of the ordinary here.


Look at the form in their haunches!!!!!!!!


Old timey cats liked dancing, too.


UNCE UNCE UNCE


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