Monday, August 24, 2009

FREE - One Devil Cat! Act NOW!!!

hahaahahaha!!! Look at this Kijiji Ad I just found, while browsing the ol' internet for a new kitten:

One devil cat
Edmonton, AB
Date Listed: 23-Aug-09

Free to ANY home. e-mail

I realize it's kind of not funny... but... if it's not
funny then why did I laugh out loud when I read it??? That said, I do hope that the "devil cat" finds a home. But it won't be mine.

Friday, August 21, 2009

~LOLing With Kijiji~

One of my favorite things to do is read through Kijiji ads. Sure, 90% of them are normal and lovely, but the 10% of sick, weird or stupid posts makes it worth the time to root through. Here are some that I came across this morning:

Wanted: Looking for a personal loan
Date Listed: 15-Aug-09

my name is clayton I just started a new job I need a personal loan asap of about $15000 contact clayton @ 780-239-8302

Wow! What a great deal for us readers! You guys better contact him before I do. I like how he thinks he can just sort of demand a loan and get people flocking to the phone???

Edmonton, AB, T5J 4J5
Date Listed: 27-Jul-09

hey im brad i need a part time job i can only work after 5 and on weekends becuse i am in the army just need some extra cash

I just like that the subject line of this really professional "Looking for Work" advertisement is "brad." hahaha. Also, NO capital letters used in the ad. Good work, brad.

just hade a babie i need a better job looking 4offers
Edmonton, AB, T5W 3G2
Date Listed: 28-Jun-09

my name is mike im 24 i work hard and and i can do allmost anything i lern fast to .i dont have a truck but i can get to ware i need to go.ill do whatever you need done or help with i have exp with all tools jackhammerrs ect . have done small concrete jobs fences gradge doors 1 year taping litthe rusty thair . bording all sorts of stuff . i want fulltime long hours and if possable sum overtime if you are contacting me i will not go into marketing so dont bother i am looking pay 4 hours
mike 780 660 5506

Do I really need to explain why this one is funny?? I might go to hell for making fun of this new-father down on his luck... but does he not have Microsoft Word??? You know, spell check??? Perhaps a caps lock key??? ughhhh. Terrible terrible terrible. And it's spelled BABY. B-A-B-Y. You just had a BABY. Also, "i lern fast to" ??? goodbye.

And here are a couple of "Missed Connections" ads:

walmart clairview
Edmonton Region Edmonton
Date Listed: 18-Aug-09

very busty older lady i smiled want to meet u im the 44 year old guy brn hair its a shot in the dark but i must try thanks.

hahahahaha. Sick.

I really like this "Missed Connection":

Purple/bluish pigeon at Sir Winston Churchill Square - 05-Aug-09
Edmonton Region Edmonton
Date Listed: 07-Aug-09

I was on my to work, you were picking bread crumbs off the ground. Our eyes locked for a second...and then a few more gazes. I really wanted to feed you bird seed, but didn't have any and was late for a board meeting. I went back on Thursday, but didn't see you. Brought seeds but alas, no such luck. All alone with the other birds. Do pigeons migrate? Have you gone South to Cabo San Lucas for the winter. Please respond. I know we could have something special.

Monday, August 17, 2009

Two cups lettuce, one cup beef, one cup strawberries, one cup vinegar. yum!

I know that I am in the minority on this one, but I must say that I'm not a fan of people putting fruit in otherwise normal salads. You know the salads I'm talking about - the green lettuce with the pine nuts and the nectarines and vinaigrette dressing. Who on earth would want to eat a nectarine with vinegar on it? Yuck. I just think it's weird and doesn't belong. The part that bothers my palate the most is the sweet fruit mixed with the savory or vinegary dressings. Sweets do not belong in there.

"hey! Let's put grapes in with this avocado salad! That way people won't know if they're eating sweets or savory! haha What fun!"

"You know what would be delicious along with this really strong-tasting spinach? Cranberries and friggin grapefruit wedges."

Worse yet, adding raisins. Nothing gets better by adding raisins. Except for bread. It's a fact.

Whatever happened to the days of yonder, when "salad" meant green lettuce, a few veggies and a nice savory dressing?? Or - and we're getting fancy here - a lovely Caesar salad?

My cousins' husbands actually started complaining about this a while back - they were asking why every single salad they ate had to have fruit in it. They wanted something manlier, a good old-fashioned salad, something more "salad-y." My cousins asked what they would like in a salad instead.
Thus was born "The Man Salad." It has lettuce, ham and cheese in it. With ranch dressing. hahaha. I thought it was a great invention - and delicious!

And to all of you wrinkling your noses at me right now, thinking "Gee whiz, she's soooo unrefined" - I say this: What would you think if I started adding onions and cabbage to fruit salad?

Maybe next time I'm asked to bring a salad somewhere, I'll cut up a few thick chunks of radish or beef and toss them in with apples and caramel dressing. It's the exact same thing. And it's sick.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Something For Everyone*!

*one or two people might be pleased

I've been thinking about phrases that have gone the way of the dodo bird. Number one on my list?

"Gone the way of the dodo bird."

Am I right??


Has anyone deleted any Facebook friends recently? I have... and when I went to delete him/her, a Facebook pop-up window said this "do you really want to remove this connection?" Huh?? It used to say "do you really want to remove this friend?" I was confused. I liked that it said "Remove Friend" because it's more concrete, very clear-cut. "Removing a connection" sounds so flimsy. If I'm deleting you, I want something tangible, man!!!!! Give me a pop-up window with balls!


At work, I usually listen to finetune... it's a site where you can create and listen to playlists of songs. I hadn't listened to this one playlist I had made in quite a while and thought I'd play it today. So I was relaxing, enjoying audio gems from yesteryear and tapping my foot quietly to hip songs......

Well, that didn't last long. Let me tell you that the most embarrassing song to come up at work when your boss walks up and stands next to you is: "Show Me The Meaning of Being Lonely" by The Backstreet Boys. Don't ask me what I was thinking two years ago when I made the playlist... all I know is my poor little cheeks got red galore. ugh. So embarrassing.


Second most embarrassing song to come up when your boss is next to you? A loud, shouty, romantic country duet by husband-wife team Faith Hill and Tim McGraw. No, I did not learn my lesson after the Backstreet fiasco. However, I have now shut down finetune and am listening to songs that came with my Windows Media Player.
Right now something called "Piano Blues 1" by "Corel Software" is playing. It is terrible... but it's safe.

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