Monday, June 29, 2009

KFC: Kentucky Fried Controversy

On Thursday of last week, I decided to treat myself to some delish KFC for lunch. I thought a lovely piece of seasoned grilled chicken would help me get though the rest of the afternoon at work.

I also decided to just quickly whip through the Drive-Thru. Unfortunately for me, I had the WORST service I have ever received, ever. After waiting a few minutes for the car in front of me to order, I rolled up with excited eyes and a hungry tummy to the "Order Here" speaker. This is what transpired:

KFC Window Guy: (very heavy accent) Hello I will be with you soon, thank you.

I waited about 5 minutes, without exaggeration. Finally,

KFC: Hi, what is your order?

Karyn: Hello, can I please have a Grilled Chicken Twister with Ranch sauce - and

KFC: (long pause) ...Grill? The grilled thing we have are sandwich, kjdjdska, hyepsida and the fhosoaaf. (I couldn't understand anything)

Karyn: ....... yes... umm... I'll have the Twister? GRILLED chicken, please.

KFC: We have a grill sandwich, the djwisoa and ajfdoeioak (again, lists whole menu to me)

Karyn: Mmhmm... you don't have the grilled twisters?

KFC: You want the grill sandwich?

Karyn: Well, I wanted a Grilled Chicken Twister.

KFC: You mean Toasted chicken Twister?

Karyn: YES! Yes, please. With a small fries and diet coke.

KFC: Small what?

Karyn: Fries. You know, a combo.

KFC: OOOOH. You want a COMBO. (minutes pass as he has to re-enter things into the till) What kind of sauce?

Karyn: ... sauce? Well, on the twister, ranch please.

KFC: No, I mean sauce. What kind of sauce do you want?

Karyn: ... (silence)...

KFC: We have Coke, diet Coke, Sprite, Root Beer...

Karyn: Oh, SAUCE. I would like a diet Coke... sauce, please.

So then I waited at the window to pay and receive my food for another 15 minutes. The whole ordeal took almost 25 minutes and in the end, I got a crispy chicken twister. I had said "GRILLED" to him at least 5 times.

I'm all for diversity and all of that, and I am normally a patient person, but... shouldn't the employees at a Drive-Thru window be able to, at the very least, understand English??

I was so unimpressed with the service that I wrote an email to KFC on their website.

WELL! Within TWO hours, I had received a return email AND a phone call from KFC's District Manager. He left a voice mail for me, asking me to please call him back so we could discuss this further. All I actually wanted was a $10 Gift Certificate. Also, free gravy for life. I am calling him back soon. I'm scared!

Story Developing...

Saturday, June 20, 2009

My Life Is Average

Most people know about the super popular website FML. The site can have a couple of funny things on it, but for the most part, it slightly annoys me. I just don't actually believe that 80% of these things actually happened. It's like someone is re-submitting old "Traumarama" moments from Seventeen Magazine. I would like the site way better if, in addition to the "I agree your life is f****d" and "you deserved that one" buttons, they would add a "BS" button you could click if you think they're lying. Here is an example of a story I would bet money on isn't true:

Today, I flew into LAX. I get nervous when I fly so I brought my recently deceased dad’s ashes with me in my purse. They’re in a quarter-sized urn which is melted shut. Security didn’t believe it contained ashes so they broke it open spilling my dad all over the table. Sorry Daddy. FML.

It annoys me how many people believe these stories. ANYWAY, I wanted to share with you a site that is similar in nature but way funnier and believable. It's called My Life Is Average
. (Special thanks to Tyler for telling me about it.) Here is a funny sample entry:

Today I was eating a 100 calorie pack of cheese nips. I checked the nutrition facts. It had no cholesterol, so next to the cholesterol it said "0mg". It amused me. MLIA.

Also, under the "FAQ" on the My Life Is Average site, this question & answer made me LOL:

I'd like to receive the MLIAs automatically when I'm using my computer.

That's not a question.

Thursday, June 11, 2009


Picture this: a rainy June evening. A tired woman. A lone Caramilk bar. And a mystery SOLVED.

After years of thinking that a Caramilk bar's chocolate "cups" were filled with caramel and then a bunch of chocolate was poured on the cooled caramel, imagine my surprise when I looked down, mid-bar, and saw THIS:

The Caramilk bigwigs are holding down helpless little chocolates and INJECTING them with thick, delicious caramel!

What do you think of those holes?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

this blog contains frightening material!
(for 8% of the population)

There is something that is a great mystery to me... a mystery even MORE mysterious than the success of all of the programs on TLC about having legs that look like tree trunks or Miley Cyrus' self-imposed speech impediment.

The great mystery that racks my soul with questions is this: What is up with people who HATE feet?

I simply don't get it. I don't understand people who think feet are "SO GROSS" and say "ewww, puke" and "don't post pictures of your feet!!! Yuck!" ... like... what? I honestly don't get it. Feet aren't gross. They are flesh colored orbs at the end of your legs. They also really help people get around. I don't get it! Help me to understand.

These are feet slippers. So when you want to relax around the house, just slip your feet into these other feet.

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