Friday, January 30, 2009


Sunday, January 25, 2009

Seeking Woman Willing To Wrestle


Boy dandy! (is that a saying?) I stumble across some pretty awesome kijiji ads every so often! This one says:


Seeking Woman Willing To Wrestle!

I'm looking for a strong athletic female that is willing to wrestle semi-competitively against a man. Paid, and totally safe.



Halt the new job search! I'm going to apply! He says it's totally safe. What could possibly go wrong?

(Also, isn't every man seeking this? A woman willing to wrestle?)


Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Things I Hate... with Karyn!

(I should name this entry "brain fart", but I just can't bring myself to do it)






One of my least favorite sayings of all time is "brain fart." I just think it's sooooooooo gross. I hate it!!! Believe me, I am a firm believer in free speech, but not when it comes to saying that you had a "brain fart." I cringe every single time I hear it.



So please imagine my inward reaction when, earlier today, one of my co-workers said this to me:


"I just had a brain fart in the bathroom!!!!"



....


.... there has GOT to be a better way to say that. A brain fart in the bathroom?? What??!

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

HIREING (sic) DOUCHE BAGS


This is an actual ad from Kijiji in the "Looking for Employment" section:

Subject: R U AS SICK OF HIREING DOUCHE BAGS AS I

AM OF WORKING FOR THEM?IF SO WE SHOULD TALK.I am looking for a GOOD job.aka careerI will put everything into it.As long as there is some appreciation and i dont have to work under or along side ignorant,mean,alc0holic,LAZY,or stupid people.31yr old male,mostly oilfield background.Willing to try new proffesions.Not interested in anything involveing a tie or cubical. thanks for your time

umm.... yeah.

Monday, January 12, 2009

SPCA Calendar - The Best Of


Hi animal lovers!

I wanted to share with you my favorite pic-a-chews from my recently obtained SPCA calendar. You can get your very own when you donate $10 (+ $2.00 S&H) to the Edmonton Humane Society/SPCA (now one and the same.)






This is Muppet. He is wearing flippers and goggles and he has curly white hair.





This is Kaiser. She has taut whiskers and is real rambunctious.








This little guy's name is Sweetie. He has a dumb face and a dumb name. (Please note: January 14 is DRESS UP YOUR PET DAY! HOORAY!)






Ever hear of a little baby grey kitten having the grown-up man name of Willie??? UGGHHH cute.





Umm. This is Daisy. ... she has hot pink nails?






UGH!!! Look at these twin pups. Also, look at their stupid names!!! PEANUT AND CHI CHI. ugghhhhhh. I love it.



If I dare say, I think this is my favorite animal name of all time. PIZZA PIE. Ugh. How cute is the name Pizza Pie??? Real. That's the answer.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Contest Winner Cheats, Loses Prize (SPCA Calendar) Contest Putter-On-er Keeps Calendar, Rejoices




When contest winner Bob Evans recently cheated in the KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER'S MS PAINT Christmas Challenge, he had no idea how much our readers would benefit. Nor how much he would lose. Karyn Germain reports.


Evans' winnings were donated to the Edmonton SPCA, and in return, he was to receive a charming SPCA calendar.


However on Tuesday, December 30, everything changed for the Edmonton man and also, sadly, one Edmonton lady. "He impersonated me! He stole my identity. I'm pretty angry, I guess," says Sherri Hinton, who initially tied for first place with Evans in the popular contest. "He signed in as me and said that I was okay with him taking all of the winnings! It was announced that I had 'bowed out gracefully'! AS IF I would ever bow out gracefully! This contest was super important to me! I painted a dolphin! A freakin' DOLPHIN*!!!"


The readers of the KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER have benefited from the hoax. The cutest animals**from the SPCA calendar will be posted here for all to enjoy at a later date.


Hinton says she feels betrayed, angry and like a mere shell of the beautiful young woman she once was. "It's like someone ... like... broke into my brain wallet and stole my brain ID... and then signed into a website and used my brain ID to lie and take everything from me that was important (i.e. winning a MS Paint contest on a blog only my friends read). And, on top of it all, he isn't even keeping the money for himself! He donated it! To a CHARITY. Lame-o."


Evans was not available for comment at the time of publishing. ... Oh, wait. When reached for comment, Evans said, "AH hahahahaha!"



* Dolphin was actually a tuna

**The ugly animals will not be posted here, nor will they ever be adopted.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Winner Uses Manipulation to Steal Recognition, Help Animals


Attention all readers...

It has come to my attention - through intense investigation and unhealthy suspicion of kindness - that we have an impostor among us.

As you know, we had a tie in our MS PAINT Challenge - Christmas Edition... and someone impersonated one of the winners, saying to allow Contestant #1
to take all of the winnings. I trusted the internet and I trusted people... and so, I declared #1 the winner. Contestant #1 then asked me to contribute his $5 winnings to the SPCA. And I happily did.

But then I found out that contestant #1 used his manipulative, kind-hearted spirit to trick me! HE had impersonated contestant #4 in our comment section!

Let me just say this... when my SPCA calendar comes in the mail (from the donation I made) I will RIP IT UP and BURN the remnants. Take that, homeless kittens! Put that in your pipes and smoke it, doomed dogs! Also, in the spirit of giving and Christmas, I was planning on adopting 5-10 needy animals... but now? NADA. I hope the animals (and the IMPOSTOR) have learned their lesson. NOT. I do NOT hope that they learned their lesson.


... oh, no wait. YES, I do hope that they've learned their lesson.


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