Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things To Do While Karyn Is Gone


Karyn Germain, who you may know from such films as "Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter: The Movie" and "Air Bud: Golden Receiver" is taking a vacation for about 1.5 weeks. We know that this will be difficult for our 4-average-daily-readers... but, fear not - extensive* research has been done and we have selected a few websites for you to peruse in the meantime. These sites are either funny, stupid, wonderful... or just proof that this blog isn't the worst thing on the ol' webber.


Everyone loves coloring, right? And everyone loves printing off pictures from the internet and coloring in those pictures, right? So, click here and get out your crayons!


The original source of cute... cuteoverload!


Ahh, Blonde Jokes. Those never get old, am I right??? Click on this underline to read some real howlers... and subscribe to get a FREE DAILY Blonde Joke! Almost seems too good to be true if you ask me. I mean... a NEW dumb blonde joke delivered right to your inbox every day? How could life be better? ... I guess if you could also find a daily YO MAMA joke. These things are always funny and always current.

And here's something that's called Funny Blog. I haven't read much of it, but if it's called Funny Blog, then it must be funny.


There you have it! Enough entertainment to keep you busy until Christmas! ... or, lunchtime. I'm not sure. I guess it depends on how much you like printing off pictures of animals and coloring them in.


Bon Voyage!



* 5 minutes on google

Friday, November 21, 2008

Twittering?


What’s the deal with this “Twitter” or whatever? I’ve been hearing rumblings lately about this new “social networking phenom.” A couple of days ago, my gal-pal Sherri phoned me about this. Here’s the convo that ensued:

Sherri: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH TWITTER?? (Jerry Seinfeld voice)

Karyn: haha, what?

Sherri: It’s all I hear about! People saying they’re on Twitter! Or that they’re “tweeting” or something. What IS twitter or tweeter or whatever???

Karyn: I don’t know, but I have been hearing about it. I’ll Google it.

Sherri: PLEASE DO! I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THIS IS ABOUT! I CAN’T TAKE IT!

(pause)

Karyn: It says “TWITTER - WHO WHAT WHY!”

Sherri: What?

Karyn: Well, just a second. I’m reading.

(long pause)

Karyn: Okay! It says you can use the website to say what you’re doing. Like, “I’m eating soup.” Or “I’ll be late for a meeting.”

Sherri: … so… it’s basically a website devoted entirely to Facebook statuses?

Karyn: haha! Yeah, I think so!

Sherri: Sweet.

Karyn: I’m totes joining.

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Can anyone out there shed some light on what's so great about Twitter? I don't get it.

Also, I have my first "tweet" ready: 'Karyn is totes joining Twitter.' Did I do that right? Am I twitting???

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

i don't know. what rhymes with sick?

I am home sick from work today. I have a cold.

And I thought that before I tune in to Maury's "DNA - who's my baby daddy" show that I like to watch every day at 1pm, I'd come and say hello to you.

Here is a list of all I have accomplished in the past 24 hours:

- read 211 Christmas flyers
- slept like a baby (on strong drugs)
- breathed
- stretched out my toes
- looked around
- facebooked

... yep. That's about it. And the thing is, I'm not even bored! I very, very rarely get bored. Unless I'm at work.

And now, I am off to eat lunch! I have to get better soon, so I'll eat something healthy. I'm thinking a Kit Kat washed down with a couple of vitamins.








Wednesday, November 12, 2008

All The Hugs You Can Handle (requires 3 'C' Batteries) !

People who know me well know that I love catalogues, brochures and especially flyers. When my newspaper comes each day, I open it up and remove all of the exciting flyers. I lay down, stretch out my tired gams and get a-readin'. I love November onward because of all of the extra flyers - Christmas catalogues, etc.

This year, I have become quite enamoured with the kid's toys. I read each word, smile and wish that I could've had some of this cool stuff when I was young. Some of it, however, leaves me a little perplexed. In the last few years, the toy manufacturers have seemingly become better at creating "life-like" toy animals. These pretend pets are better than the real thing - they are loveable, litter-trained and dead on the inside - just like you!

Here are some of the life-life toys on the market now:


My Little Pony Crawling Newborn




"Press this sweet pony's back and watch her crawl her way over to you and right into your heart!
Care for her and love her and she'll respond to you with pony phrases like, 'Come and get me!' and 'Mama!' Watch her colorful tail wiggle as she crawls to you and then scoop her up in your arms and pet her soft, furry body."



I like that they think "Mama" is traditionally a pony phrase.

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Fur Real Friends - Newborn Piglet

"This little piglet loves to be loved! Pet its soft fur and watch it wiggle its snout and tail while snorting, squealing and oinking!"


UGH. This one's adorable. Also, you get to bottle feed it!!

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Fur Real Newborn Guinea Pig




"This adorable guinea pig was just born and needs your love and attention! Give him lots of affection by petting the soft fur on his back. He will make baby sounds and then gently lift up his head to look at you."


Okay, hahaahhaha... how creepy/cute is this guinea pig???? UGH. Look at it's feet!!!! And it's giant head. Also, "making baby sounds and gently looking up" is pretty cute, I guess.


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Fur Real Cuddle Chimp




"Electronic interactive chimp really hugs you (requires three C batteries.) Claps hands, feeds on bottle, and even giggles when tickled in the right spot."


Alright... those who know me well also know that I have a "thing" for monkeys. And I don't mean a liking. I think they're more than a little creepy. I love the fact that it requires three batteries to hug you. The story of my life, am I right??!


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Fur Real Friends Biscuit, My Lovin' Pup





"Playtime is going to the dogs and this playful pooch is leading the charge! The lovable mutt features voice recognition, and obeys six commands. He even 'shakes a paw.' Ask him if he wants a treat, and he'll nod and whimper to let you know he's ready for his dog 'bone'!"

Yeah, I don't have much to say about this one. It's pretttttty cool.


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Fur Real Cat





"- Cat will Sit up & lie down
- Head & neck move
- Moving ears, eyes & mouth
- Purrs when happy, but will hiss if you pull her tail!
- Lifelike leg movement when you pick cat up
- Sensors on its back and stomach that detect stroking"


Hey - humans have that, too (sensors in the back and stomach that detect stroking.) AM I RIGHT?? Okay, so obviously I am a little biased seeing as cats are my favorite animal in the world, but this thing is FRIGGIN' AWESOME. Also, "lifelike leg movement when you pick the cat up" made me laugh. I bet you they're real droopy, grumpy cat legs.



I started off my research today to find the weirdest, creepiest toys I could find. But, alas, I must say that the toys have won again. I find myself wanting one of these Fur Real Cats. Real bad. I wanna Fur Real Real Bad :( Here's a
video of it in action. And, hey, maybe the fur real cat is more realistic than the dog one because cats don't actually do much - so it isn't difficult to emulate one.

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And, in closing... here is a video of a "life-like" toy dog... I don't know what country this is from, but ... the whole tongue thing is a bit too realistic for me.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Achin' for Akon


On this, the eve that Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America, I sit here contemplating the world. I hold in my right hand a steaming cup of hot cocoa ... and in my left, I grasp hope for the future.

I've concluded that the best news to come out of any of this - even better than the whole "making history" thing and the "promise of change"
- is the beautiful fact that we're not going to lose Akon.

Am I right? We dodged a real bullet there, people.
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