Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Having worked in many an office over the years, I have encountered many an annoying cubicle-neighbor. Here is a list of behaviors that you should avoid at all costs in an office environment:
Inappropriate Office Behavior
- Slurping your beverage (hey, man, we all get thirsty. But I shouldn't hear every single droplet going down your gullet.)
- Chewing and smacking your food loudly (normal eating sounds are fine, but when you’re adding in LIP SMACKS, loud, wet tongues or sound effects, you’ve gone too far.)
- Making bad office jokes
- Making the SAME bad office joke more than once
- Making the SAME bad office joke on more than one occasion on multiple days
- Asking time-related questions that we all know the answer to (e.g. “Is it lunchtime yet?”, “Is it Friday yet?” and “It’s five o’clock somewhere, am I right?”*)
*saying these are only acceptable when said with a twinkle in one’s eye.
- Taking a newspaper into the bathroom with you
- Talking on a cell phone in a bathroom stall
- Playing Bon Jovi's "Dead or Alive" on your office iPod more than three times per day
- Talking to yourself. This includes all forms of whispering, laughing and encouraging words (e.g. "OKAY, Let's get goin' here, Brian!")
Avoid all of these inappropriate office behaviors and you will make many friend!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
So...hey.... if you're looking for a good way to dehydrate your baby, click it up! This way, we all win... you get to dehydrate your baby, and I earn 1 cent from every click!
Monday, July 14, 2008
I thought it was bad enough being called "ma'am."
Thursday, July 10, 2008
It means he is our special guest blogger.
While I can't prove that my Grandmother is in charge of the ads that appear in the sidebar of my Facebook home page, I find it more than a little coincidental that they reflect her exact criticisms of me. Don't get me wrong, my Gramma is a sweet old woman, but she's very, very old and as such, feels that tact has long since become an impediment to expressing her feelings in the most devastating way possible.
I am afraid to open facebook now! Every time I do I'm faced with horribly personal questions! 26 and STILL SINGLE!? 26 and OVERWEIGHT?! 26 and GAY?!
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Tonight I was sorting through a pile of newspapers. Out slipped a brochure... a shopping catalogue, if you will. I don't really know how to explain to you what I saw. I don't really have the words to express it yet. Perhaps I will just let you see for yourself.
Umm... okay... so this thing is called "Baby Jingles." I guess it's the first in a collection.... of.... newborn... baby posable monkeys. Anyway, here is the write up from the catalogue:
"This playful little sweetheart is quite a handful - and as much fun as a barrel of you-know-whats! This little one knows how to get your attention. Introducing 'Baby Jingles' - a playful, posable newborn monkey who just wants to be 'babied.' Are you ready to love her back?
'Baby Jingles' is realistically sculpted (right down to her adorable monkey feet hidden inside her baby shoes.) She's covered with soft, hand-applied mohair. She gets her name from the jingle bells tied to her shoelaces! Best of all, she's costumed just like a pampered human baby, in a t-shirt that says 'Mommy's Little Monkey.'"
Ok. So. I'm actually not sure how I feel about this. My first reaction was ":-O SICK!!!!!!" but then, as I looked and read and cried (re: cuteness), I realized that she's a LITTLE BIT cute. I guess I want to play with her and love her and pose her. ... but just a little.
When I searched online for more Baby Jingles pictures, these photos came up. They are the next newborn baby monkeys from the "collection."
They are kind of gross. I'll admit. But they also fit right into the palm of your hand. Which is really cute. I'm so torn.
Thursday, July 3, 2008
hmmm.... well, while I try to think of something, here is some news...
I have TWO pregnant Sea-Monkeys in my tank!!!! I AM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!