Thursday, April 24, 2008

ASKKKKKKKK KARYN!


Dear Karyn,

Recently I was given the advice of lying to the multiple girls I'm seeing about it "not being me" they saw with another girl. Although I'm sure that would have worked wonderfully, your readers have cracked my alias name and figured out who I was!

Now whenever I say something like, "No baby, that wasn't me you saw making out with the sexy blond in the back of the club" they become very suspicious. Do you have any suggestions for convincing your readers that I'm not a big player... while still attempting to "get with" several of them?


Sincerely,

Was Outed...and Wasn't Even In

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Dear O...AWEI,

Hmm. Quite the quandary you have there, Adam*. I guess there's only one option for you. Tell the gal you're trying to "get with":


Girl, you're my angel...
you're my darling ...angel

Closer than my "peeps" you are to me
baby

Shorty, you're my angel
you're my darling ...angel

Girl, you're my friend when I'm in need, lady...


But, that said, remember these parting words:

Life is one big party when you're still young
But who's gonna have your back when it's all done? (yeah)


















*Karyn, don't forget to change Adam's name to a clever pseudonym before posting. Or else he will be m-a-d!!!

23 comments:

  1. So do I sing it to them or.....?

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  2. Dear Adam*

    If I was one of your (many) women, I would be hurt and offended to see you making out with a hot blond in the back of the club (lets say, The Ranch). I'd be even more hurt and offended if you tried to say 'it wasn't me' and said called me things like 'shorty' and 'darling'... however, that being said, all would be forgiven if you sang your lies while rocking three sleeping babushka cats to sleep while wearing nothing but a bow-tie.

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  3. *also, I realize that rocking sleeping cats to sleep doesn't make sense, but neither does the heartbreak that Adam* causes.

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  4. True dat, Sara. True dat.

    I'd suggest Adam start trolling a new blog for girls to "get with," but we really need the readers. Please don't leave us, Adam*.

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  5. Adam - yes, you can either sing it to them or just say it in a stilted sing-songy manner. Either will melt hearts.

    Sara - hahahah babushka cats.

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  6. I've been thinking, and I would pay a lot of money to see a half naked man wearing a bow-tie singing Shaggy songs while rocking three sleeping baby babushka cats to sleep. A lot of money indeed.

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  7. Adam, I think as long as you deliver the lines with those "girl, you trippin" hands, you'll be fine.

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  8. I'm ignoring Sara's comment re: having the grossest fantasy in the world.

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  9. I don't know Sherri. That might not be me. I'd probably have to wear a white hat to the side with a size sticker on it to pull that off. Or maybe dreadlocks.

    Sara, if you supply the cats I will do it for $12.

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  10. 1. Sherri - Aren't you the one who likes to perform acts of self pleasure (masturbation) to pictures of yourself? (I'm not knockin' it, I do it (masturbation) to pictures of you, too). All I'm saying is that my fantasy should be right up your ally.

    2. Adam - Sold. I'll meet you at The Ranch tonight.

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  11. Um...what just happened here?

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  12. You and Sara were talking about your fantasies which oddly enough were my fantasies too.

    See ya at The Ranch tonight. The $12 I'll make will almost take care of my cover and a glass of Sprite.

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  13. Sherri - I'm not sure what happened. Like I tell my gentlemen callers... Just relax and go with it.

    Adam - Can't wait. Also, you'll be buying that sprite for ME, and water for the cats. They get so hot all wrapped up with their toques on (they do have fur, too after all, poor sweet babys).

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  14. UGH! Buying water for the cats?!?!?! That is adorable.

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  15. Adam* is really good like that. He is going wear the bow-tie (no shirt), sing 'Angel' by Shaggy, and rock and snuggle the three sleeping babushka cats AND feed them water from tiny bottles. All at The Ranch!!! I'll be sipping on my sprite. Also, falling in love.

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  16. Do I have to come along for this? I'm still not sure how I became involved in this or why I'm so aroused right now...

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  17. babushka

    hahahahhahahaha

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  18. Of course you have to come Sherri. But don't like you wouldn't be at The Ranch on a friday night anyways. Anyone who's anyone goes to The Ranch on fridays.

    Also Sara, it's neat to find out that you're falling in love considering all your knowledge of me comes from my ASKKKKKK KARYN questions. Oh, and that I have a topless picutre of myself on facebook.

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  19. I know you do. It's my new wall paper. I also had a t-shirt made with a picture of your sleeping face that I photo-shopped onto a kittens soft body.

    ps. Don't ask how I got a picture of you sleeping.

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  20. hahahahahahaha.... "onto a kitten's soft body"??! SICK.

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  21. ps. I have one of Karyn, too. But hers is just a regular dump pic with a moist pigs tail photo-shopped onto her bumbum.

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  22. So I just got back from The Ranch and looked pretty silly standing there topless with a bow tie on whilst singing Shaggy WITHOUT ANY CATS. I mean, the whole heart of the act is the cats. You let me down....and it hurts.

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  23. I was there Adam.... I was watching you and giggling, whilst drinking a glass of sprite.

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