Last year, my friend Sherri asked me if, every Friday, I would be able to babysit her 2 pugs (Matilda and Winston.) You see, Friday was her late school day and so the pugs got real hungry and lonesome. I said okay... although I had never really been the sole caregiver for a dog before, I thought... "how tough could it be?"
Well, for starters...
Her dog, Matilda, was menstruating. Yeah. I didn't even know dogs menstruated, nevermind had to babysit one that was friggin' menstruating. This entails a dog wearing a diaper (that I had to change.) Sherri had instructed me that immediately upon arrival, I was to change Matilda's diaper. I thought, "Well, heck, I've put diapers on babies before. It's pretty much the same idea." Uhh... yeah, really really not. For one thing, Babies don't run. Secondly, babies don't have dumb tails that have to be fed through a slot on the diaper. I couldn't hold the dog still ... I tried and tried and tried. And then I couldn't figure out how to get the sticky tabs to stick. After several failed attempts, I looked up, desperately, and spotted some green painting tape!! VOILA! So, I tried taping the diaper on Matilda. Both of the dogs were just standing there, staring at me in shock. I could read their minds. They didn't think that Auntie Karyn was as brilliant as she thought she was. And, unfortunately, Matilda kept laying down and chewing on the tape. Needless to say that didn't work. FINALLY, I realized that the diapers were velcro. %$%@&!! Yep, good ol' easy-to-fasten velcro. Not that it would've made it wayyy easier, just a teensy bit easier. But, now I'll know for next time.*
*There will not be a next time, Sherri.