Monday, March 31, 2008

Dogs Menstrate???

I like dogs. Dogs are okay. But there are times when I am mighty thankful that I have an old, sweet, quiet cat. I was just remembering this nice memory of a dog & thought I'd share.

Last year, my friend Sherri asked me if, every Friday, I would be able to babysit her 2 pugs (Matilda and Winston.) You see, Friday was her late school day and so the pugs got real hungry and lonesome. I said okay... although I had never really been the sole caregiver for a dog before, I thought... "how tough could it be?"

Well, for starters...

Her dog, Matilda, was menstruating. Yeah. I didn't even know dogs menstruated, nevermind had to babysit one that was friggin' menstruating. This entails a dog wearing a diaper (that I had to change.) Sherri had instructed me that immediately upon arrival, I was to change Matilda's diaper. I thought, "Well, heck, I've put diapers on babies before. It's pretty much the same idea." Uhh... yeah, really really not. For one thing, Babies don't run. Secondly, babies don't have dumb tails that have to be fed through a slot on the diaper. I couldn't hold the dog still ... I tried and tried and tried. And then I couldn't figure out how to get the sticky tabs to stick. After several failed attempts, I looked up, desperately, and spotted some green painting tape!! VOILA! So, I tried taping the diaper on Matilda. Both of the dogs were just standing there, staring at me in shock. I could read their minds. They didn't think that Auntie Karyn was as brilliant as she thought she was. And, unfortunately, Matilda kept laying down and chewing on the tape. Needless to say that didn't work. FINALLY, I realized that the diapers were velcro. %$%@&!! Yep, good ol' easy-to-fasten velcro. Not that it would've made it wayyy easier, just a teensy bit easier. But, now I'll know for next time.*


*There will not be a next time, Sherri.

No bloggity/no doubt...



uh-oh. My first blog and I'm already out of ideas. I'm screwed.

Karyn Germain's Weekly Newsletter - Reprint Week 2

For all of you who did not subscribe to the Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter by sending an email with "SIGN ME UP, SCOTTY" in the subject line, here for your reading pleasure if a re-print of the Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter from October 2007.

Hello !

You have received this sweet newsletter from a magical automated machine.Thank you so much for subscribing to KARYN GERMAIN'S WEEKLY NEWSLETTER!

This edition introduces you, dear reader, to a NEW FEATURE! The feature is called "Ask Karyn." If you have any questions - about life, love,friendship, work, acne, erectile dysfunction... anything... just ASKKK KARYN!!! You can email all questions (your name will remain anonymous... unless it's really juicy) to kegermain@hotmail.com.

Karyn has been pleasantly surprised by all of her subscribers! "Oh, yeah,it's been just great!" says Karyn over a donut and a cup of joe. "I mean,sure, about 89% of the subscribers were forced or coerced or tricked into subscribing, but I think they're happy about it. Or they will be in the longrun. Maybe not yet, not now, but... just you wait. ... Are you going to eat that long john?"

It was Karyn's 28th birthday on September 2, 2007. She and a bunch of friends went outfor supper and then to the bar for some sweet dancing and plenty of rich, hearty laughs. When asked how she was enjoying the evening, friend Christie Moncrief said, "Yeah it's okay. I mean, it's not that fun but I don't mind being here. It's not terrible. Where else would we be on a Sunday night, anyway?" Karyn wishes to thank all those who showered her with gifts and/or gifts.

Karyn's trip to the zoo last weekend was a resounding success... with one exception. She did not get to see the red panda cubs! The pandas have been featured several times in the local news rag, but clearly do not exist. Germain searched high and low for the little "popcorn pandas" - even looking in the animal nursery. I guess we all learned a valuable lesson from this: Sometimes when zoos say that they have baby red pandas bouncing around like"pieces of popcorn", it's just a scheme. A dirty gimmick to get your $3 admission fee. ... see you next summer, zoo!!! :D
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