Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Donate to the SPCA!
Let's thank animals for being so cute!!!!

Thanks to excellent thinking on my friend Bob's behalf (Contestant #1), I have donated his winnings from the KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER - MS Paint Challenge (Christmas Edition) to the Edmonton SPCA.

I didn't know this, but you can donate money to the SPCA AND get a cute animal calendar in return! :)

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!
The MS Paint Challenge Winner Is...

We have had a consession. The winner is... Entry # 1 - Christmas Robot!!!!!!!!!!

Entry # 1 Person, please send me your home mailing address and the hours you plan on being home so I can stalk you. hahahahahahhahaha. jk jk jk. But do send me your mailing address if you want me to mail you your crisp $5 bill winnings.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Ruh-oh... we have a tie!!

Hey, Christmas friends!

So, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN KGWN HISTORY, we have a tie in the MS PAINT CHALLENGE!! Albeit, this is only the second competition we've ever held, but still! History in the making! Ground-breaking! Hey?

The tie is between Entry #1, "Robot Santa Dance" and Entry #4, "Dolphin - Holiday Sea-son."

So... I'm not sure what to do. Please tell me what I should do. Most of our readers have already cast their votes. Although, I can think of a few people who haven't, so maybe we should leave the contest open for a few more days.

Oh yeah - and I need to announce what the winner(s) will win!! A crisp*, new** $5 bill mailed right to their front door!***

We could just split the prize... both contestants would get their hands on some hot coins - $2.50, to be exact!

*maybe soft and worn
** probably old
*** if they give me their mailing address

Monday, December 22, 2008

MS PAINT CHALLENGE - Christmas Edition - VOTE!

Here are the submissions for our MS PAINT CHALLENGE - Christmas Edition! We only received 5 entries, but the voting will still be hard! These are all so good*!

* and/or dumb

Please vote for ONE MS Paint submission in the comments section below.

Entry #1

Entry #2

Entry # 3

Entry #4

Entry # 5

Special thanks to those who entered the contest!! Winner will be announced in a couple of days!

Voting ends on Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 11:59pm (or whenever I remember to come & count the votes.)

Friday, December 19, 2008

Just thought I'd pop 'round again to encourage you to enter our MS PAINT CHRISTMAS CHALLENGE. I just did this one up (above.) I think it's pretty good (if I do say so myself!!! LOL LOL). If you think you can do any better, email your submission to

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

ugh. These reindeers are being soooo bad.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I hope they arrive in time!

This beautiful pendant is what I'm getting for all of my friends and some of my family (the ones I like) for Christmas!!!! I just think it's really regal. Also, who doesn't like a Christmas goose... AM I RIGHT, LADIES?!?

Monday, December 15, 2008

The Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter
Christmas MS Paint Contest!

Oh! Hello. Look what my blog dragged in (you.)

It's that time of year again... time for tickling kittens, roasting your chestnuts on an open fire AND time for THE KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER's Christmas MS Paint contest!

Please enter one MS Paint masterpiece* drawn by you, without any help from outside sources. The theme: Christmas. Deadline for submissions: Monday, December 22, 2008 at 12 noon. Voting ends on Tuesday, December 23, 2008 at 11:59pm.

Once all submissions have been accepted, our fine readers will vote for their favorite. Every voter gets one vote. The winner will receive something wonderful!! Something exciting!!! Something that I will announce once I think of it.

Send your Christmas MS Paint submissions to with "MS PAINT CHRISSYMAS CHALLENGE" in the subject line (just off the top of my head.)

Here are two MS paintings that I created today. Hopefully these will help get your creative juices flowing!

"Away in a Manger" by Karyn Germain

"Santa! Look What I Made For You!" by Karyn Germain

* we also accept pieces of crap

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Candy Woes

I was sort of rude to the fix-it guy in our building at work recently. He is the general fix-it guy for the entire building (12 floors.) I wasn't rude because I’m a terrible person… but because he has been driving me crazy for four months now and he deserved it. He comes in every day to look into the candy dish on my counter. When it contains “good” candy, he FILLS HIS POCKETS. He seriously puts a bunch in his mouth and then stocks up for the day. Pretty much empties the bowl.

He doesn’t even work on our floor, or in our department! For the first month, I forced a smile but it really annoyed me. So the past month, our candy hasn’t been as delicious. Right now it’s just these “Mini Fruit” hard candies. No one likes them and so they’ve been sitting here for a month. The fix-it guy has been coming around and looking in the dish and sighing loudly and complaining to me about our selection. I just think it's so rude to come by, and first of all take all of the candy that people have bought for our employees. And then to complain on top of it? Nope, sorry.

Well, last week was the final straw. He came up and said, “Okay, WHO is responsible for this candy??? It's been so bad lately! This is terrible!” And I said “… you know what? There’s a store right downstairs.” (pause, while he stares at me with a straight face) I continued, “Yep. It’s amazing. They carry a bunch of stuff and you can go down there and choose whatever you want!” He stared at me with a surprised (and slightly angry) smile for about 10 seconds. Then he mumbled “there’s a store downstairs, she says….” And walked away. He hasn’t been back up yet! Well, once he came by but when he saw me and realized which floor he was on, he quickly walked away. Also, now he completely ignores me in the elevator. HAHAHAHHAA. It felt great, I’m not gonna lie.

Monday, December 8, 2008

hola los amigos ahora estoy en el mundo de caras frías!

Hi friend faces! (and internet strangers)!

I am back from Meh-he-co... !

Hey, click on this linky maginky to go to a new website .. it's chock-full of laughs.


Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Things To Do While Karyn Is Gone

Karyn Germain, who you may know from such films as "Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter: The Movie" and "Air Bud: Golden Receiver" is taking a vacation for about 1.5 weeks. We know that this will be difficult for our 4-average-daily-readers... but, fear not - extensive* research has been done and we have selected a few websites for you to peruse in the meantime. These sites are either funny, stupid, wonderful... or just proof that this blog isn't the worst thing on the ol' webber.

Everyone loves coloring, right? And everyone loves printing off pictures from the internet and coloring in those pictures, right? So, click here and get out your crayons!

The original source of cute... cuteoverload!

Ahh, Blonde Jokes. Those never get old, am I right??? Click on this underline to read some real howlers... and subscribe to get a FREE DAILY Blonde Joke! Almost seems too good to be true if you ask me. I mean... a NEW dumb blonde joke delivered right to your inbox every day? How could life be better? ... I guess if you could also find a daily YO MAMA joke. These things are always funny and always current.

And here's something that's called Funny Blog. I haven't read much of it, but if it's called Funny Blog, then it must be funny.

There you have it! Enough entertainment to keep you busy until Christmas! ... or, lunchtime. I'm not sure. I guess it depends on how much you like printing off pictures of animals and coloring them in.

Bon Voyage!

* 5 minutes on google

Friday, November 21, 2008


What’s the deal with this “Twitter” or whatever? I’ve been hearing rumblings lately about this new “social networking phenom.” A couple of days ago, my gal-pal Sherri phoned me about this. Here’s the convo that ensued:

Sherri: WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH TWITTER?? (Jerry Seinfeld voice)

Karyn: haha, what?

Sherri: It’s all I hear about! People saying they’re on Twitter! Or that they’re “tweeting” or something. What IS twitter or tweeter or whatever???

Karyn: I don’t know, but I have been hearing about it. I’ll Google it.



Karyn: It says “TWITTER - WHO WHAT WHY!”

Sherri: What?

Karyn: Well, just a second. I’m reading.

(long pause)

Karyn: Okay! It says you can use the website to say what you’re doing. Like, “I’m eating soup.” Or “I’ll be late for a meeting.”

Sherri: … so… it’s basically a website devoted entirely to Facebook statuses?

Karyn: haha! Yeah, I think so!

Sherri: Sweet.

Karyn: I’m totes joining.

Can anyone out there shed some light on what's so great about Twitter? I don't get it.

Also, I have my first "tweet" ready: 'Karyn is totes joining Twitter.' Did I do that right? Am I twitting???

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

i don't know. what rhymes with sick?

I am home sick from work today. I have a cold.

And I thought that before I tune in to Maury's "DNA - who's my baby daddy" show that I like to watch every day at 1pm, I'd come and say hello to you.

Here is a list of all I have accomplished in the past 24 hours:

- read 211 Christmas flyers
- slept like a baby (on strong drugs)
- breathed
- stretched out my toes
- looked around
- facebooked

... yep. That's about it. And the thing is, I'm not even bored! I very, very rarely get bored. Unless I'm at work.

And now, I am off to eat lunch! I have to get better soon, so I'll eat something healthy. I'm thinking a Kit Kat washed down with a couple of vitamins.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

All The Hugs You Can Handle (requires 3 'C' Batteries) !

People who know me well know that I love catalogues, brochures and especially flyers. When my newspaper comes each day, I open it up and remove all of the exciting flyers. I lay down, stretch out my tired gams and get a-readin'. I love November onward because of all of the extra flyers - Christmas catalogues, etc.

This year, I have become quite enamoured with the kid's toys. I read each word, smile and wish that I could've had some of this cool stuff when I was young. Some of it, however, leaves me a little perplexed. In the last few years, the toy manufacturers have seemingly become better at creating "life-like" toy animals. These pretend pets are better than the real thing - they are loveable, litter-trained and dead on the inside - just like you!

Here are some of the life-life toys on the market now:

My Little Pony Crawling Newborn

"Press this sweet pony's back and watch her crawl her way over to you and right into your heart!
Care for her and love her and she'll respond to you with pony phrases like, 'Come and get me!' and 'Mama!' Watch her colorful tail wiggle as she crawls to you and then scoop her up in your arms and pet her soft, furry body."

I like that they think "Mama" is traditionally a pony phrase.


Fur Real Friends - Newborn Piglet

"This little piglet loves to be loved! Pet its soft fur and watch it wiggle its snout and tail while snorting, squealing and oinking!"

UGH. This one's adorable. Also, you get to bottle feed it!!


Fur Real Newborn Guinea Pig

"This adorable guinea pig was just born and needs your love and attention! Give him lots of affection by petting the soft fur on his back. He will make baby sounds and then gently lift up his head to look at you."

Okay, hahaahhaha... how creepy/cute is this guinea pig???? UGH. Look at it's feet!!!! And it's giant head. Also, "making baby sounds and gently looking up" is pretty cute, I guess.


Fur Real Cuddle Chimp

"Electronic interactive chimp really hugs you (requires three C batteries.) Claps hands, feeds on bottle, and even giggles when tickled in the right spot."

Alright... those who know me well also know that I have a "thing" for monkeys. And I don't mean a liking. I think they're more than a little creepy. I love the fact that it requires three batteries to hug you. The story of my life, am I right??!


Fur Real Friends Biscuit, My Lovin' Pup

"Playtime is going to the dogs and this playful pooch is leading the charge! The lovable mutt features voice recognition, and obeys six commands. He even 'shakes a paw.' Ask him if he wants a treat, and he'll nod and whimper to let you know he's ready for his dog 'bone'!"

Yeah, I don't have much to say about this one. It's pretttttty cool.


Fur Real Cat

"- Cat will Sit up & lie down
- Head & neck move
- Moving ears, eyes & mouth
- Purrs when happy, but will hiss if you pull her tail!
- Lifelike leg movement when you pick cat up
- Sensors on its back and stomach that detect stroking"

Hey - humans have that, too (sensors in the back and stomach that detect stroking.) AM I RIGHT?? Okay, so obviously I am a little biased seeing as cats are my favorite animal in the world, but this thing is FRIGGIN' AWESOME. Also, "lifelike leg movement when you pick the cat up" made me laugh. I bet you they're real droopy, grumpy cat legs.

I started off my research today to find the weirdest, creepiest toys I could find. But, alas, I must say that the toys have won again. I find myself wanting one of these Fur Real Cats. Real bad. I wanna Fur Real Real Bad :( Here's a
video of it in action. And, hey, maybe the fur real cat is more realistic than the dog one because cats don't actually do much - so it isn't difficult to emulate one.


And, in closing... here is a video of a "life-like" toy dog... I don't know what country this is from, but ... the whole tongue thing is a bit too realistic for me.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Achin' for Akon

On this, the eve that Barack Obama was elected President of the United States of America, I sit here contemplating the world. I hold in my right hand a steaming cup of hot cocoa ... and in my left, I grasp hope for the future.

I've concluded that the best news to come out of any of this - even better than the whole "making history" thing and the "promise of change"
- is the beautiful fact that we're not going to lose Akon.

Am I right? We dodged a real bullet there, people.

Thursday, October 30, 2008


HAPPY HALLOWEEN, guys and GHOULS! (that's what people call each other at Halloween time, right? To be hilarious and cute?)

Here are some Halloween pictures that I stumbled upon in my travels today. I thought I would share them with you:


I... don't actually know why I'm posting this one. I think because it's strangely disturbing and I didn't want to be the only one to dream about it tonight.

Here are some festive pumpkin men with corn cob arms and jalapeno feet helping themselves to a nice piece of cake!

Umm... okay, so this is a Halloween recipe called, "Mummy Dogs." They look pretty inviting and appetizing, I guess. ..... I hate them. :'(

hehehehehe. Halloween Bentos...
look at the stupid carrot pumpkins!

Candy Corn Kitty :)

PIG PUG!!!!!!!! LOL LOL.

Ummm.... yeah, sorry about this one. This is... a ... pig mask. A... terrifying, lumpy pig mask? Please never wear this around me. I will pee my jeans.

I'll leave you on a good note!!!! Yay! Halloween cross stitch!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Of The Karyn Germain Newsletter's MS Paint Challenge is...


That's right folks, Dave's years of finely honed MS penis painting has finally paid off!

Let's take another look at Dave's winning contribution...

Dave has won a delicious seasoned CORNISH GAME HEN!!!

(whispering: I will put it in the mail for you tonight, okay, Dave? Don't worry about freshness... I'll ship it express. :D)


Once again, thanks to all who entered this contest. You ALL have a special place in my heart. awww.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Thanksgiving MS Paint Challenge!

Because you need one more person nagging you to vote...

I'm here to encourage you to take a gander at the entries we received for the FIRST EVER Karyn Germain Weekly Newsletter MS Paint Challenge!

That's right, screw the boring provincial election and cast a vote that will really matter.

Please leave your vote as a comment - by the # of the picture.

Remember, the winner receives a full page dedication in the KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER and a special mention in the universally popular KARYN GERMAIN WEEKLY NEWSLETTER Facebook Group!

# 1

# 2

# 3

# 4

# 5

# 6

# 7

# 8

# 9

And, one of our talented artists submitted two pictures... to keep things fair, this one isn't in the running, but I can't leave out beautiful art.

So, there you have it! Please vote now!

Special thanks to everyone who submitted a picture!! :)

Friday, October 10, 2008

~First Ever~
KGWN MS Paint Challenge!!!!

HEY READERS AND FANS (also, people who are obligated to read this because they're my family or friends)!

Today marks the start of the very first MS Paint Challenge! We all know that I am sensational when it comes to the finer points of MS Paint... but the question is - how good are you?

The topic for this challenge is "Happy Thanksgiving." Please work only with MS Paint... and make something beautiful/funny/stupid/breathtaking that has to do with Thanksgiving. Please email your submission(s) to: .

If there are no submissions, then I will automatically win with my attempt...

And, although this is beautiful, I hope it isn't the only entry in our little contest. The winner will enjoy...

Their entry FEATURED on and the Facebook group, Karyn Germain's Weekly Newsletter! As if THAT isn't enough, the winner will also win a very special place in Karyn's heart.

All entries will be featured here and voted on by the viewing public. If you want your name to be kept private, just add that in your email to me.

So, MS Paint it up!!!!!!!! And Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Dress Up Kitty!

My good friend and #1 News Scooper, Dana P. from Pittsburgh, submitted this link for us to enjoy together:

Basically, it's the best website in the world. You get to pick a cartoon cat and dress it up. Like a paper doll, only without the paper cuts. (Hint: You have to double click on everything and then scroll up or down to find where your cat went. It's a pretty ghetto website.)

Here are a few examples of what you can make with this website (I made them :D :D :D)

Edit: I got caught at work today playing Dress Up Kitty.
:( Oops.
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